It’s a sweaty purple tank top. It doesn’t fit me well enough for me to be comfortable wearing it anywhere I want to look good, so I decide to get rid of it. I wear it during sweat-inducing activities for a couple of days, and in bed. Take some pictures, put it up on the site and overnight someone selected the $35 “Buy it now” price I had set.
I’m relieved, because my financial situation is currently fucked. I have work lined up in July, but for the last few weeks of uni I n,eed to concentrate on my exams (and I doubt I’d be able to find anything anyway – I couldn’t for the rest of the year). My rent is paid up, but my food budget is £2.50 a day and I’m sick of rice and lentils. This money is welcome. It’s what stops me borrowing from my parents or my boyfriend, its what stops me over-drawing my bank account. And its what stops me getting scurvy from never having fresh food. I have enough options (boyfriend and parents) that this is still technically a “choice” for me, but not by much. But then, working in Starbucks wouldn’t be a choice either in this circumstance, and I’m finding that selling to fetishists gives me far better working conditions.
I’m going to a fetish party on Saturday, with “kink” themed costumes mandatory. I’m going as “bondage” – I will wrap myself up in bondage tape and a japanese rope tie (a cheap crap one which I shouldn’t have bought; at least it will be used for something). I’m hoping to sell sets of HQ pictures from it. Previously I’ve got $25 for 15 pictures.
The pictures freak me out because I’m not comfortable with my body. I have pudgy bits and body hair and stretch marks. But, $25 and I don’t have to look at them more than once. In a way this whole thing is increasing my confidence. I doubt a month ago I would have been willing to go to a party in nothing but a bondage tape bra and knickers. I don’t know if this is a good development or not. Am I gaining confidence or just a desire for people to pay attention to my body?
